RANDOLPH, Senior Circuit Judge:
I.
This appeal has its genesis in 26 U.S.C. § 4251, which imposes an excise tax "on amounts paid for ... toll telephone service." Telephone service is taxed only if its price "varies in amount with the distance and elapsed transmission time of each individual communication." Id. § 4252(b). Technological advances of the last few decades changed cost structures and, as a result, telephone companies began charging...
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